the (almost) goth

goth: Someone who likes the darker side of things. A person who likes to dress and act differently to the other people in society, normally in black but some like much brighter colours. They tend to be thinkers and more often than not quite creative. They have a satyrical sense of humour, and are able to laugh at both themselves and other people.

- taken from urbandictionary.com

So I’m a little different. The best way to describe my life is a walk between the borders of the “normal” and the “dark”.

- The Normal -
I come from a traditional loving, near nuclear family. I still live with my parents and I get along with them just fine. We don’t really have any problems besides the usual ones that most family gets, where the parent can’t see their child as a grown up and where the child thinks she’s more mature than she really is. That and we’re a traditional Chinese family in a Canadian society. See cultural conflicts here?

I work a job as an internal consultant for a large company, analysing business processes and trying to improve them, usually with building small applications. My boss is awesome, my team leads are the best, and my coworkers are people I actually love to hang around with. My job is challenging and the pay isn’t bad (considering I live at home). I’m just another office girl, talking the corporate talk and walking the corporate walk.

My friends are mostly “normal” (very contrary to the goth definition in the beginning of the post) . We watch movies, go snowboarding, hiking and clubbing as well as have wii and cranium nights. And oh yes, we go shopping at stores like Esprit and Mexx. Did I mention that we love going to the outlets down in the States?

I have a pretty outgoing life. Besides hanging out with friends, I am an active martial artist. In fact, it’s a pretty big part of my life. Other than that, when I’m at home, I browse through Facebook, watch anime and chat online. Nothing too unusual here right?

- The Not-So Normal -
So first things first, I have a dark sense of humor.

Okay, a dark twisted sense of humor.

I’m a dreamer and a writer and I fully indulge in the whimsical side of life. Yes, I do believe that the pixies are in the Wires, which explains half the programming bugs and other crazy things that happen for no particular reason. (Latest episode includes emails disappearing after canceling a move from one folder to another in Outlook. I do blame the pixies for that one.) I love crows (not for the Poe factor; if you really want to know, read the Newford books by Charles de Lint) and thus the name “corbi”. Blood is actually interesting to me and violence, given the right context, is really not an issue – can be quite entertaining even. I also dress between a punk and a goth, swinging between baggy jeans and hoodies, to anything with black and red. (Lately, it’s been swinging more towards the goth side.)

I also have friends that enjoy the same things as well. I feel more at ease with them in a sense because I don’t have to worry about crossing the line as much as with my other friends. I understand and share the humor a bit more, and half the things that are “wrong” in normal society are the most freaking hilarious jokes here. Oh yes, and I do live another life online as well, almost entirely on this not-so-normal side but I’ll leave those adventures for another day. (Yes, the internet shredded my innocence to pieces that all drifted slowly into the 9th level of hell unfortunately.)

So you see, I really do toe the line, dancing on it frequently. (Let’s not even mention what happens if the two worlds collides. It’s happened once or twice and it’s not the prettiest sight.) Unlike many in the emo, and even goth genres who have embraced the darker side of life because they don’t quite fit in the normal schema of things, I fit (or don’t fit) in both worlds. I love the dark side for what it is, without any reason, but on the other hand, I don’t mind being normal either.

And so I present to you, the comedy of errors in the life of “almost” goth.