“Valentine’s Day – because love isn’t complicated enough”

Taken from my dear friend, the self-proclaimed-a-hole’s MSN name. (Aka Capital-K, you know who you are. Hugs to you too! ^^)

I used to hate the holiday, really really hate the holiday. Now I just have a love-hate relationship with it

Love: all the candy and chocolate and cupcakes and cookies….oh man, the office is littered with free food! And yes, after nearly working for two years, I am still not over the poor-starving-student mentality. There’s so much goodies all around, and honjai bought me and the other girls hedgehogs, and then there were these delicious cupcakes just hanging around… oh dear gods, it’s sugar heaven here!

Hate: I feel so sick now. I’ve officially sugar crashed and my tummy hurts… ‘Nuff said.

All that aside though. There was a special insert by one of the more respectable newspaper here, titled “The Love and Sex Issue”. (Yes, I jacked it from the office lounge. The label said that it belonged to the-self-proclaimed-a-hole, but I figured he would let me “borrow” it.) It had all kinds of goody columns, including interviews with a “retired” sex-worker/dominatrix, who compared her old line of work to seeing a therapist. In some ways though, I do agree with her. Let me quote:

“I’ve heard all kinds of different stories about people’s backgrounds and about how they have a particular fantasy and you know what, they’re probably better to come and see me and working it out with a sex worker than going to see a therapist who’s going to charge them much more money in the long run and probably screw them up worse.”

Some people are just wired differently. They might prefer things that a lot of the “regular” people don’t. So why not, as long as there is consensus, right? Different doesn’t mean broken. Homosexuality and how it has been officially recognized as “simply is” is just one example. It was once thought of as a sickness, but society as a whole, accepts that gay doesn’t mean you’re sick. Just means you’re different. Herein lies the difference. But while a therapist might attempt to treat it as something broken, a dominatrix may be a little more open minded. (Generalization again.) Some of my closest friends are wired differently in a variety of different ways that main society may considered “wrong” or “strange”. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade these friends for anything in the world.

I’d like to bring up another article that I read in that insert as well:

Virtual Babylon – Second Life offers social networking with a happy ending – and only vanilla sex is taboo

They are not exaggerating. I find that the most popular places are the one that sells kinky sex in some shape or form. Usually the more vanilla places are either (a) businesses, which is a fair PR effort, one that I’ve been quite impressed with and (b) ghost towns that no one visits that much. That or malls. Lots and lots of malls and stores, but even what they sell is sex in some way, whether it be in the kinky clothing or nice “skins” the avatar can adopt, or hair styles or even the “naughty” parts. Even in one place that is a simulation of a fighting mmorpg, there is lots of blatant kinky sexuality involving demons and angels. Getting the idea yet?

On the other hand, I have had the pleasure to meet some of these people outside the game or even real life. And like the article details, they lead quite plain, ordinary lives. One woman I spoke to said that she was purely just curious. In real life, she has a great job and is quite a family person. Another man I had the pleasure of speaking with holds an even esteemed position in society.

I’ve been reading alot of Spider Jerusalem comics these days (courtesy of Haplo), written by Warren Ellis. If you get a chance, grab a copy. I’m also reminded of a book by the same author, called “Crooked Little Vein”. In both, there is a repeated theme of whether this world is turning more perverted, and what we treat as open-mindedness, is really leading society straight to hell instead, to a place where there are no longer morals and values, all in the name of “freedom.”

You know what? I don’t have an answer to that. But the title of the article sure drives it home. Kink is good. A fear of kink is often likely to be thought of as repression. Every year, it feels as though what is an acceptable subject to discuss in public seems broader and broader. Within some of my social circles, it is even frowned upon on to treat sex as anything more than a pleasurable activity. These articles are just examples of how the media pushes the boundaries a little more every year to create sensationalism. Yet, as demonstrated, these articles do hold more than just a grain of truth.

My only answer? Uphold what values you believe, but live and let live.

After all, like the old Chinese saying goes, you can’t control other’s people’s mouths.

(I am referring to how you can’t control what they say you pervs! Get your minds out of the gutter!)

~ by darksilvercorbi on February 15, 2008.